Synopsis:
At their twenty-fifth high school reunion, four former best friends discover that growing up is way messier than anticipated—and the past isn’t nearly as finished as they thought.
Back in senior year, Audrey, Micah, Jasmine and Beck were the Core Four: the lucky one, the beautiful one, the smart one, the sporty one. They had color-coded dreams, inside jokes and a lifelong friendship they thought would last forever. But graduation night ended in a tragic accident, followed by the kind of silence that stretches for decades.
Now, they’ve returned for their reunion, each carrying a life that looks nothing like the glossy future they imagined. There are stalled careers, complicated marriages, outspoken adult children and secrets that never fit into holiday cards. For one of them, a diagnosis of early-onset dementia turns the weekend into a ticking clock.
Across one unforgettable weekend, the Core Four must decide if their past can still change their future together.
Shop The Book: The Me I Used To Be
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This one hurt, and it hurt a lot. The Me I Used to Be is one of those books that stabs you in the heart early on and just stays there. You can’t stop reading, and you don’t want to, but the pain keeps growing until, by the end, you’re completely broken. Somehow you’re still so thankful you got to read it, even though it wrecked you. At least, that was my experience.
The Story
Audrey, Micah, Jasmine, and Beck were the Core Four in high school, four inseparable best friends who were sure they’d be in each other’s lives forever. Then, the night after graduation, a devastating accident shattered everything and sent them in separate directions. Twenty-five years later, they agree to come back for their high school reunion. None of them ended up where they hoped they would, and each one is carrying scars and secrets. For one of them, a diagnosis of early-onset dementia makes this weekend the last chance to revisit the friendship they once shared.
Reading Experience
The first word that comes to mind when I think about reading this book is cherished. I cherish the lives I got to be a part of and the innermost thoughts I got to witness. These characters let me in on the hardest moments they ever had to face, along with their happiest and saddest ones. Being part of all of it was heartbreaking, but I also laughed a lot, cried plenty, smiled, and felt all the warm fuzzies along the way.
Writing Style
I had never read anything by Kristan Higgins before, but my goodness, can this woman write a story. I’m almost speechless. She brings so many POVs into one book and makes each voice unique, fully its own and clearly different from the others, while still weaving a common heartbeat through all of them that ties everything back to the main story.
It’s hard to say whether this is a tragedy or something more uplifting, because she manages to write both and everything in between. She does it with such authenticity that these characters never feel fictional and their situations never feel made up. The pain is real, the love is real, and I had the honor of experiencing it with them.
Characters
There are quite a few characters, and each one gets a moment in the spotlight. We really get to know every one of them, and none of that takes away from the overall story, because the heart of the story is these friends coming back together.
In high school, they were inseparable. They were very different, yet they had everything in common and lived their lives side by side. Then one night of tragedy changed everything. They went their separate ways, built very different lives, and barely crossed paths for years. When they return for the reunion, they’re living lives nothing like the ones they imagined or the one they shared.
They feel like real people doing the best they can with what they have. They’ve worked hard to get where they are, but they aren’t happy with how certain things turned out, and honestly, who is? Most of us carry regrets, words we wish we’d said, and moments we wish we could go back and change. Higgins writes all of those stories intricately and realistically. When one of the four is diagnosed with early-onset dementia, it changes things for everybody, and we see every one of their perspectives as they navigate the reunion and the devastating news.
Audrey is the mother of the group, probably because her own mom filled that role when they were teenagers. She loves to care for and nurture the people around her, and she has such a sweet, empathetic, kind soul. She also has a snark and sass that made me laugh more than once.
Micah has the most transformational story. She was the it girl in high school, and now she’s a small-town mom working in a bakery, one the book describes as a little frumpy. She loves her husband and son, but her life looks nothing like she expected, and she seems to have lost a lot of herself along the way.
Jasmine is the rags-to-riches story. After a terrible childhood, she pushed her way to the top to build security for herself and her family so she would never have to feel that way again.
Beck held a special place in my heart. She’s such a true friend, and I just wanted to hug her. She’s honest and authentic, and she worked so hard to build a career doing what she’s good at. Even after being taken advantage of and having lies spread about her, she stayed steadfast and positive while her name was dragged through the mud, the group received devastating news, and she faced a reunion with friends she hadn’t seen in over twenty years.
The reunion is uncomfortable. Secrets come to the surface, and everyone is forced to face truths they’d rather avoid. Through the secrets, lies, and disappointments, they all remain genuinely good people, and I loved that about this story. I loved getting to know each of them, falling in love with them, and appreciating everything they’d been through and were about to go through together.
Heartbeat
Heartbeat
The heartbeat of this story is relationships and love, and how the people we love can matter more than anything else. That includes anything we’re going through, any bad news we receive, and any life-altering circumstance that throws us for a loop. If you have people in your life whom you truly love and who truly love you, that is life. It isn’t success, money, or a career. It’s who you love and who loves you, how you impact others and how they impact you, and how you nurture and grow each other. That is the heartbeat of life, and it’s the heartbeat of this book.
Final Thoughts
I recommend this book to anyone who loves having their heart completely destroyed by a well-written, heartfelt, devastating, emotional story, which, in my opinion, should be everybody. I’ll definitely be looking into more of Kristan Higgins’s books to continue the pain and heartache she’s given me.
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this virtual book tour WOW Women On Writing.
Kristan Higgins is the author of more than two dozen bestselling novels, which have been translated into 27 languages and sold millions of copies worldwide. Her books have received dozens of awards and accolades, including starred reviews from Entertainment Weekly, People, Publishers Weekly, Library Journal and Booklist.
Kristan is the mother of two exceedingly charming adult children and the smitten grandmother of two little ones. She enjoys mixology, the National Parks and being overly helpful to strangers. Kristan lives in Connecticut and is often at the family home on Cape Cod with her heroic firefighter husband, a rambunctious dog and their indifferent cat.
You can follow her always entertaining posts on Substack.
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